Up and down

Luke and I feel like we have completely missed the first half of November. It is incredibly draining to have a child this ill, and we feel so helpless because there is nothing we can do to help her feel any better. We are always second-guessing the decisions we have made, was it the right thing to do for her or wasn't it?

Last night Isabel threw up two more times (once at the Mall of America, because we were trying to get her out and about a little which had seemed to be helping with her mood). So far, today, she has been keeping down breast milk, half-strength formula, and some baby food bananas, but is incredibly fussy and irritable, to the point of being inconsolable at times. She also seems incredibly hungry, so that is where we hem and haw, how much do we feed her, because last night when we fed her however much she wanted, she threw up twice. Was it because we overfilled her tummy? Perhaps, perhaps not. And today, is she so fussy because she is super hungry? Perhaps, perhaps not. It is an ongoing battle and we just have to continue to trust our parental instincts and pray that God will continue to give us wisdom to make the right and best decisions.

Then, there are some tiny glimmers of light, like earlier today when I had her on the floor of her room to put some socks on her, and she spied the baby monitor on the floor with the green light on the top and practically crawled out of my arms to get it. I set her on the floor and she proceeded to play with the monitor, plus a couple of her animals that were near it, for about 5 minutes. She even went back and forth from on her hands and knees, to a sitting position, a couple of times. That is the most "self-motion" we have seen out of her in 11 days. We are worried at this point, not only about her health, but about her development, because this episode of illness has definitely set her back and she is not doing nearly the same things that she was doing the weekend of Nov 1-2 before she got sick.

We called and talked to Jackie, Dr. Williams' nurse, today, who has been so kind and helpful throughout this whole process. She said to keep doing what we are doing, since Isabel is still having wet diapers and is crying tears, so she is not dangerously dehydrated again. We see Dr. Williams tomorrow morning at 10:30, and if Isabel is still inconsolable by then, Jackie suspects that the doctor will want to have an ultrasound done of Isabel's tummy. I hope she is better by tomorrow, but also am hopeful that if she is not, the ultrasound will maybe show them something that will help them figure out what is going on with our little girl.

Please continue to keep Isabel in your prayers.